Connecting with Your Inner Being
I would love to touch on the topic of connecting with our inner being- which I believe I have been fortunate to do five or six times in the past year and a half, and once during a very pivotal time in my life.
In 2011, I lost my father to colon cancer. The thought of losing him was one of my biggest fears since I was young, as for many of us I’m sure. The Dr. told us he basically had a few days left so we took him home, as he (my dad) wished. His last morning with us, we decided to clear out his bedroom from all the family members to let him rest. Two of my cousins stood outside his door and yelled at us that something was happening to him. My mom, an aunt, and myself ran into his room and as I passed the foot of his bed to reach the far side of his bed, an EXTREME amount of bliss flooded my body and I felt a smile come across my face. My father was dying in this moment and I was blissed out.
It was one of the greatest feelings I had ever experienced up to that point. I had an idea of what that feeling or situation was back then, something outside of me, whereas today knowing it was something inside of me providing that feeling of love and peace.
Jumping ahead to 2018, newly married in a new city, and my world was completely turned upside down. I couldn’t find work so I felt like a failure with my new wife. I was on a spiritual journey for the past year or so, which was drastically consuming my thoughts more by the day. I knew such thinking didn’t line up with her conventional Christian belief system, and it was creating more resistance between us. On November 27, 2018, I was listening to my headphones and ‘Higher Ground’ by Stevie Wonder was playing. My body started to, what I would consider lightly vibrating, and near the end when the lyrics were “God is gonna show you higher ground”, my mind had a vision of Jesus and I received a message (more of a knowing), “you can do as Jesus did,” and my brain completely blew up as though a million lightning bolts went off in my head. I was overcome with a blissful feeling for about a week, which gradually lessening day by day. Again I was blissed out. IT WAS INCREDIBLE! That is something that was hard to describe to my wife at the time.
Skipping ahead head to the current year, 2020, January 2nd, I was in the spare bedroom because my wife and I have decided to end our marriage, I woke up around 2 am in a near panic and just started taking deep breaths. About 30 minutes later, again it happened! The feeling of love and joy absolutely consumed me during another very tough time in my life. I could only see my soon-to-be ex-wife in such a loving way. To compare that feeling of love with the love I have ever felt for anyone or anything is absolutely incomparable. It lasted for about 2 hours. The same thing happened for the next few nights around the same time.
What I have learned from these events
When you literally feel the love of God, Source, the Creator, the field, Divine spirit, whatever you want to call it, your former life as you knew it can no longer exists the same way.
I had meditated for about a year and a half to this point and deep breathing is what puts me in that feeling of connection and free-feeling.
Friends there is so much more to our existence and although our paths may be slightly different from each others, we are all connected by love. And we may never get all the answers we are searching for (because everything is constantly evolving), we should continue to search and aim to grow spirituality EVERYDAY.
Research ‘everything is energy,’ and how to control your negative thoughts, and make time for yourself whenever you can. Breathe/meditate, whatever helps you feel connected to your inner being, and love everyone and especially yourself!!
Love & peace.