Codependence is being at war with ourselves, says Robert Burney, a codependency therapist. Codependency, therefore, makes it difficult to love ourselves and our inner child.
Codependency, as an addictive behavior, involves taking responsibility for someone else’s thoughts, feelings, or behavior. We learn to negate our own needs and falsely believe that whatever we do is “not enough” and therefore “we aren’t good enough.” We have a choice to hear the voice of our wounded inner child and to heal or to continue to live in pain and codependent patterns.
For those of us on a journey of self-discovery or spirituality, codependency and inner child healing remains necessary to experience greater oneness. By becoming conscious of our reactive emotional behaviors, we can, over time, become a more detached neutral observer and thus not a victim of our inner child’s rage, anger, and other eruptive behaviors.
Each wound that’s healed lessens the pain and contributes to our becoming more whole. Unfortunately, many times we resist the pain, say “No” to change, and remain in reaction. Healing, on the other hand, involves giving our inner child a voice, the willingness to be present in the moment with the pain, i.e., saying “Yes,” and feeling vulnerable.
Choosing healing over just surviving with our recurring reactive emotional patterns takes us out of the victim role of giving away our power and esteem to others, i.e., codependency.
Healing our emotional wounds allows our inner child to grow, which has been an important part of my personal healing journey.